**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
