i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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