I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
