hell yes lets make some ravioli
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You pole danced in your parka.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
