i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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