he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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