You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
