my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
