dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
