During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
