"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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