dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
