Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
