if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
