i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
