i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize