I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize