just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
