I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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