He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
