In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
