Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
