I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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