Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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