He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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