that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
