She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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