I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
