is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
