Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sobbing to NWA
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
