Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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