the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize