Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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