Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
