This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
