It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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