i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
