The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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