You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you guys were way drunker than both of me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize