Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
