Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
