My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
