she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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