I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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