Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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