that's an acceptable place to lick
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
