I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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