I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
