No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So vagazzling was a success
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
