i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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