If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
