I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
