can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
