Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize