Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize