Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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