Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize