Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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