All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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