I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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