forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize