I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
and she was petting her beer can
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
