Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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