It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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