I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
