youre lurking in front of me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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