I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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